August 30, 2004
slugs and salt
well i'm back at school, as my previous entry said, but i belive that was over a week ago. posibly longer... *shurgs* lets see Monday started Intro to Video, got out early, ran back to my room for some reason or another, problly just befcuase i was uber early for horsebackrideing. went to horseback riding I, i think it will be an easy ish class and it only runs till mid October anyways.... *Shurgs* Found a nice person to give me a ride to the stable very day i have class, i feel bad that i can't remeber her name, i know so much as she is a Viscomm major. when i got back to my room, i took a quick shower, ran to get some food from stevenson, saw jacens uncle who works there... then jetted off to into to time arts...only10 people in that class. I got out early so i decited to trek over to Cole to see Jacen when he got out of Soci class, :) i suprized him :). and um... we waited for his friend cortney but it turns out she didn't need him to fix her computer right then.... so we went back to my room to finish watching Um... i think it was Hellboy... not really for sursy.. and i may be geting nights mixed up *shrugs* but i don't think so.... Went to sleepys
Woke up for day 2 of school, walked to INtor to music with my jacen, becaue we have that class together :) *jumps around*, the teacter seems nice enoff, expect she has a tendency to ruin movies...., we went out for luncheys then i had to go to Into to Phil class, Turns out VLO is in my class, the teacher seems like a bit of a know-it-all pretenious man, but the class seems intresting enoff.... Oh i got compleyly soaked walking to class, and was freezing the entire time i was in there... we got out a bit early so i ran very quickly back to my room changed, remebered when i was back in mu room that i was sapoesed to meet jacen befor his Unix class... *shurgs* he's a smart boy i'm sure he figured it out. I went back because i had Intro to Mass communications, and i saw him as he was leaving his unix class :) I broght my oboe to class, because i had U band that night, so i sat in the Trident and typed and waited for it to be close enoff to head over to u band, It was a short u band, and a good thing too because that night jacne and me were going to make a run to walmart becaues i had to get miniDV tapes for Intro to video art. also i needed some Misc stuff, i.e. klenex, and cups.
well... i'm just going to skip ahead in my life... because i feel like it :P Friday i ddin't have any classes, because Video art was an optional lab day on fridays, and since we havn't done anything... yeah... soi went down to eat breakfast, and played Diablo2. after jacen got out of classes we went to rent movies: what lies beneaty, goonies, dungens and dragons, The hulk, Texas chainsaw massicure. *Shurgs* good movie viewing fun... Saturday we went to cornfest, and watched more movies... Sunday we went to the pond and i fed the ducks adn took pictures and jacen palyed his guitar for the ducks. Then latter on we went to the NIU gaming club, which turned out to be fun, we still need to find a d and group... but yar.. I had fun this weekend, and it kinda got rid of the stress from the week, but now i'm ready to make more....
oh and Thruaday i went to a meeting for the Intercolleget Equestrain thinger on campus it seems like a lot of work, but i hope it will be fun, i'm not sure if i'll compeate but yeah you know, perhaps. and i can't help but wonder if i should jsut wait till next semester. I guess it kinda bugs me because i spent so many years on it before, and now its like stating from scratch... it seems like such a waste, and i can't really think of any practical aplications latter in life... on a much more ironic note, my horse i ride for class named Leo also happens to be blind in his right eye, what an odd world we live in... *shrugs*
TInyfirestarter out~
August 23, 2004
schooly school school
i'm back at good old NIU, after a very exciting weekend out and about.
Moved in on friday, stole my jacen good :), and went home. went to the air show on saturday, and the zoo. awesome awesome, the Blue angles buzzed my aunts building, and the new great ape house is very spiffy.
yar can't really think of anything else to talk about. *shurgs*
bye bye
Tinyfirestarter out~
August 16, 2004
ZOO!
yar, went to the brookfield zoo today. I LOVE THE ZOO! so many animals so little time. Saw a baby dolpin, gorilla, orangotang, and other babies too... and cute full grown animals as well. i <3 the zoo.
I took alot of pictures tdoay at the zoo, to bad they came out fuzzy because i gues smy hands were shaking :(. yeah still no idea why they do that, it is rather annoying. also got one of those plastic molds of a walrus, from those machines they have the wax ones that smell like chilid hood.... *smells walrus* ah..... its orange, it is just like the one my cousin joey bit the head off of when i was little. It is so going on my desk *nods* definally
so is it friday yet? well, i do know one thing, that tommorow is my brothers last day of freedom before he goes back to school. *shurgs* yeah, well i'm oging to go try and entertain myslef for awhile *waves*
Tinyfirestarter out~
August 15, 2004
Anderson Hall
A hoy hoy. Today was kinda a mixed day.... didn't really feel like everything fit together, but such is life i guess... To sum up the days events... Went out to lunch with the family For Mexican mm.... tostatas.... then went to Kohls with my mom. Moped around the house abit, went to go watch Austin powers downstairs because it was on tv... and my mom was watching it... but we have it on tape, silly people *shrugs*, and i feel asleep during it missed the end, not like i haven't seen it before anyways.. Made some SALSA, all by myself from scratch *pats self on back* Played some D2 and now i'm typing in my blog waiting for my sweetie to get back from the Movies so i can talk to him before i go to sleep.
Tommorow ZOO for me! Brookfield i han't been there for ever! bats dolphins oh my! hm... i wonder how much more time i have to kill... *shurgs* well classes start a week from tommorow. *yawns* i don't hink i'm a night person, expecially when there is nothing to do. nopers...
Almost compleatly packed, just a few things that need to be washed, and my computer to pack. Definally much less stuff then last year, much much much less *nods*
well alison is now back in college, tristan sounds like hes haveing a semi good time, and chris is being chris... so yar.... my turn next :). i like being home to a certian extent, i like haning out with my mom, and seeing my dad when he acutally comes home. and i can't belive jonny boy is going to be 18 this Friday, what is up with that! its pure crazyness. yeah... can't belive hes a seinor... it just doesn't make anysence to me in the least... *shrugs* got his gift all wraped and ready to give him. I know he will like it since he semi picked it out...lol. and he saw me buy it... oh well...
well bye bye
Tinyfirestarter out~
oh i can't remeber if i talk about how i was going to try and Take Horseback riding at NIU some time, it meets at Anderson hall, and is taught by Marie Hoffman.. but i can't find her email, becaue i dont' want to take it if it will be uber boaring for me, since i did ride horses for 9-10 years, and have take'in 3 years off. but i really enjoyed it. i'll have to look into it abit more, ok thats it for real...
August 14, 2004
hm...
well, right after the last time i posted things started going better. Big Chris showed up for a bit, so got to see him one last time before he went back to college land. And I saw some people i hadn't seen in a long while, Ryan and Sara. There nice fun good people *nods* i know that sounds lame, but i guess thats just what i am... lame... and i'm fine with that at the moment. Went out for dinner at wendys, i got a cheese burger kids meal, and it was good. I was a bit disapointed in the toy *shrugs* but it came with temp tattoos that i put on with the condensation from my pop, so now i have a heart and an Awesome tattoo. They also Linched a old defective power thinger. and we played Tetra net, which was fun. I kinda got the hang of it, execpt for the weird letter thinger. so i stayed there till like one ish.
Drove home put back togeher my computer, and didn't call jacen because his friend mark was spending the night, but he called latter and left a message on my phone :) so i got it when i woke up :)
I got to play with my new digi cam some more, i like it. It was a good value for the price, my only problem is that it doesnt' focus all the time, and the little screen veiwer isn't all that spectaular, but i'm not gong to complain because it was5 mega pixles for a very good price./
August 13, 2004
Pew
yar... today should have been bettter thats all i have to say. my cousin emmett was over wehn i woke up, hes quite so no big deal. My cousin dan brought over his 2 kids for us to watch.. BABY!! the baby was all cute and liked to stare at me.. :)
yar... my camera came around 3:30 and i haven't had time to play with it yet, and i don't know, i need to play with it to see if i like it. *shrugs*
at a lan, but no game play yet, and i've been here for 4 hours!!1 *sigh*
Tinyfirestarter out~
August 12, 2004
mmrr oww?
well... um... today... woke up...went out with mom to target to get my free 50 digi prints 12$ value, very happy :). I'm going to use them in the college in my collage room. Also got what i think are the final things for college, toothpaste, mayo, and chippies. also started packing up my vcr and cds into a box, also folded my clothing and got enoff socks, since i'm not bringing eveythign with to college, did that last year, and it was silly. my digi cam didn't come today, infact i haven't seen any updates.
well.. mid post chris imed me and we did errons, went to bedbath and beyond and home depo.... ooo exciment
and my aunt said there isnothing she can do aobut my neck hurting... lousy neck, (wants to cut out but jacen won't let me).
LP tommorow found out today, so I"VE GOT PLANS!! gasp wahoo
um... yar... i've got to kill time before one when jacen gets back... hm...*shrugs* i guess i can do what i always do, stare at the walll...
Tinyfirestarter out~
August 11, 2004
thanks...a latte!
again, my actual titel for this post has absolutly nothing to do with it... but then again... non of my titel have anything to do with my actual post.. if you havn't knowdist...
Wednesday, 2 more days till people start leaving for college, and they leave one right after another till i'm the only one left. and i'll be here for one week longer then any of them. Never did get around to having that lan we were saposed to ahve before everone left... But i blame tristan since we told him explictly to have it, and he is the first to leave... *shrugs* oh well, easy come easy go... the only thing i really want is the Digi pictures everyone took over the summer. well mostly chris... but i'll badger him into bringing his pictures over today. when i'm hhaveing some Peps over to play Illuminti.
Last night i had people over to watch "the anarcist cookbook" which was a really good Indi flix, i hightly recomend it. We also played "life" because remeber life is just a game... My mom also feed us Eclares, cream puffs, cheese cake and coffee. She feeds everyone, but before feeding them, she asked chris if he was going to be home for thanksgiving, lol. silly silly lady.
well everyone left at about 10:30, and after that i went up stairs, hung out on my computer for about a 45mins, waiting for my little fire bug to come back home. so i decited just to watch x-files and wait... i fell asleep tilla bout 1:30pm, when i stayed up for another half hour and waited... then i decited just to call and see how late he was going to be seeing as i was tierd and such.. turns out his friends decited they were going to stay the night, and he lost track of time. *shrugs* it happens. It put my mind at ease, because i'm silly. I thought i was forgoten about or somethign... which in a sence i was.. but *shurgs* i know he didn't mean to.
I slept rotton last night, well relively speaking, i woke up all tight and with lots of knots in my shoulders. and i don't feel refreshed, but thats nothign new when it comes to sleep..
well my package shiped from newegg, so my camera is scedualed to come on friday before 4:30.
Oh and i saw my dad last night for like 5 mins, heres wondering if hes coming home tonight.
I really don't remeber what else i did yesterday, i don't think i did anything really fun or anything. i belive i just followed my mom to the mall. oh and i picked up my pictures from my disposable camera.
yeah no really exciting plans till 7:30 tonight, so yeah.. bye
tinyfirestarter out~
August 10, 2004
oh yeah
Need i say more... i mean sure its AOL but its uber cool, and at a kiss concert no less :)
event filled day
Yar well Monday was quite a busy day for me. Yar... Started out at around 10:30 when i finally rolled out of bed in the basment. Which is nice because usally i wake up at like 8 or 9 when i sleep in my actual room. ate breakfast Showered, looked online, then went out with my mom to Michels and Lunch mm... Wendys juinor bacon cheese burger mm..... came home. And finaly broke down and ordered a new digi cam, because i coudn't pass up a deal. I think it is agood think that drugs and Alchol is not like Tech hardware to me. because if it was i would be dead! ok so my new digi cam is a 5 meg pix O'rite camera, which is very classy, and will finally put my high class printer to use. It also came with a free digital camera starter kit which has 4 recageable batterys a charger and a camera case. The camera also comes with a case.... And i got a SD expation card for my camera. Which was an amazing deal... so i went out with chris for fun good times after i orderd the camera because newegg was curently out of SD cards, so i was going to see if Tigerdirect outlet store had any but yah know, i would have to pay tax, but it had the right now factor going for it, so i'm walking around the store, and in the back in the open box section is the kingston SD card i was going to buy but for only 22$, plus its still eligabel for the 15$ mail in rebate, so 8.89 total plus the stamp..... oh yeah it feels so good... :) and a grand total of104.48 for all my camera buys from newegg :) so i'm very very happy to say the least, and i want my camera now.. i can't wait :).
Also went to the mall with chris because he wanted to get some stuff for college, mostly clothing related.. I'm all up for tagging along anywhere... we also went to the camera store to see how much to get his camera fixed they wanted 200$... so umm.. no, there is alittlle crack in the tracking that holds on the lens cover... not even a crack more of a chip.. so i toldh im to get plumers apoxi , so we went and got that so for 3$ he fixed his camera, and life is good...
also bought a few d and d dice at the mall :) so i'm on my way to geting started..
when i got home finaly got around to submiting that photo i took of my bear in my jinx shirt and got a thing for 5 free stickers :)
Um.. went back to chris's house at like 7:30 chris dylan and me wached some family guy till alison got there. then we played 2 rounds of Illuminti, and full games too not even ones where we got pissed and jsut started giving cards away... so my theory is that it is tristan who is the wet blanket on our illuminati fun. *shrugs* then we mad a mad dash for jewl to get Pina colta mix, and pop corn before the daily show with john stewart came on with Bill clinton... but jewl woudn't sell us non alcoholic mix, so we jeted over to Wallmart and got some mix, good old evil empire wallmart, won't sell pron but we will sell you mixers :)... chris made the drinks and pop corn and we wached johny boy, and tHen Kun pow enter the fist, which was funny... and so ends my day
Now i'm just waiting for jacen to come back from fishing with his friend mark. So i can say goodnight.
so i'm off to do somthing *waves*
Tinyfirestarter out~
August 08, 2004
done done
Well the shower is done, over and done. I have to say there are reasons people are control freaks, and i think it was a good thing that my mom is one for this event. because it would have never gotten done. my aunt never showed up last night, and dind't show up till 10 this morning to start making all the food stuff... but it all came toghether in the end. and yeah. that sreally all i have to say about that.
going out with chris tommorow to get college stuff, and just to do random things around the o.p. because him tristan and alison all leave thi weekend. Chris was going to have people over tonight, but tristan decited he would rather drink, so that was a no go. and hear is wondering if he is going to have people over to file swap tommorow like he said he would. I think no.
yarr...
i am very tierd, stupid naps at 6pm at night till 8 pm, naps are saposed to make you not as tierd.... but no my brain can't understand that
Tinyfirestarterout~
August 07, 2004
spool 0' ribbon
Why do i feel like i'm talking to myself even wehn other people are saposed to be lisening. sorry thats just a random question not directed towards anyone, its just the way i'm feeling at the moment. *Shrugs*
So yeah my aunt didn't show up tonight... suprize suprize you know you would think she would since it is her daughers wedding shower, and its at our house, and we have done a vast majority of the planing and work.. you think she would show up at least to drop off the favors that they put together, but we desined and got everthing to gether for.... She did stop by today to drop off the table, but she did not intend to, Sir was driving and they picked it up in storage... and he just drove over here... but yeah, don't know when she is going to show up tommorow... but my mom is rather pissed, and a bit freaking out. because even though she is not techincally throwing the party persay, it is at our house, and such. and it really could have fooled me that she wasn't throwing it "techinically" because, she has put so much time and energy into it... but you know what, she can say "screw it" she doesnt' care all seh wants, but she really does care because she dosen't want Nichole to cry at her shower because she thinks her mother doestn' care... and i honistly can't blame her.
I'm glad its tommorow and then it can be over and done with.
and 2 weeks from tommorow i move offically lock stock and barrel back to NIU... as i have said before can't come soon enoff...
Today my brother had a hissy fit because i told him not to lick his figner and touch the plate with pasterys on it... his defence i'm not touching the pasterys, i'm touching the suger on the plate... yeah i'm sorry but thats gross, your spit is still ending up on the plate, which the deserts other people eat are on, yeah nasty.
well I've done a whole lot of nothing day, besides cleaning and carrying stuff around the house... i did make a Dice bag for my D&D dice. i addapeted one of the us mint bags i had gotten from my grandpa, i made it much smaller and put a draw string on it, *shrugs* i like it. now i jsut need to get the rest of the dice.. oh and i also tryed to use the sewing machine today, with out any sucuess.
Also played some Sacred i'm not on ACT 4, i think, *shrugs* i jsut finished an act and some chick got abuducted by an evil wizard. and now i need to hall my ass across the map again. not looking forward to that. hence why i stoped
i'm emotionally exasusted today and i dont' know why, its kinda bothering me, not really much i can do about it. I just hope nothing else sets me off tonight.
And i wonder what time i need to wake up tommorow.... i think some people start coming at noon... so perhaps 11:30 intorder to shower and get fancy fyed by noon.. should be plenty of time. but yeah i know that i won't be able to sleep till 11:30 as much as i would like to. *sigh*
Tinyfirestarter out~
yar
you know lately the smallest things send me into a spirl of bitter depresion. And not even like big things, there all little things, that seem to ether remind me of or directly relate to things that bother me a bunch or that make me sad.
I could just be sitting there talking, andsomething triggers something in my brain, and bam it hits me. and i ether get angery, or sad. It really bothers me, because i'm not being able to control it.
The latest thing that set me off, was triggered by the movie i bought "the anarchist cookbook" and on the cover there is someone with a purple mohawk, the kind I want/wanted. but can never have. Buzzed sides with long spikes in the middle dyed deep purple. But no... i can never get one with out looking like a defective freak with a big ass scar across my head.
*sigh* oh well.
TInyfirestarter out~
August 06, 2004
Regret
*sigh* well, yeah i feel like crap at the moment, i decited to try one of my old stress releveing techniques of self reflection, and id dint' like what i saw. I used to write very tiny to fill whole pages of my sketch book. it used to help me sort out feelings and emotions. now it just serves to make me relive my regrets. and the past. I would really rather look to the future. and let the past die, but for some reason i can not let the past die as much as i would like it to. I no longer feel the way i did, and i no longer think the way i thought. So why can't i just let the memories die. I guess its because it is a part of m ypast, and regreting it doesn't make it go away. I can only promiss that it will never become a part of my life again.
I have changed so much in the past year. For what i think is the better. I am a much more improved person, and i definally like who i am now a whole lot better. Sure i've become less conceted with some of my friends, but i tend to wonder what we had to share in the first place. And if it was build on lyes and Fanitsys. For that i will never know. I hope that we don't drift to far apart. because i no longer see a few of them on a regurlar basis, and when we are together we don't have much to talk about. But i value there imput and i'm here to lisen when they have truths to tell me.
I declare myself a new person then i was less then a year go. In September i will be one year into the new me. The me i like better, the me who likes what trys to treat others the way she would like to be treated.
some minor devil truths are soon to be just fading memories, and for me that can't come soon enoff. I don't want to remeber much of the past, i only the good times, the ones that didn't bring me pain. The ones that didn't make me feel like i wasn't good enoff for anyone. The happy memories, so i can look back and remeber the good times. But i guess the bad memories serve to keep us grounded, to relize that the future is brite and that the past has its dark side, and that it is always better to move forward.
I hope there are people out there who will help me move past my regret, and acept me for who i am now. Because i belive i still have all the good qulities i had before, but i'm also trying to add new ones.
I can't wait till i get to talk to jacen tonight, it is the hightlight of my evening, as sappy as that sounds. His voice makes my world make sence. I just wish i could be next to him when i hear it. I know there are some people out there who say you can't have your whole word revolve around a relationship. Well mine doesn't it revoles around the people i love, and the things i love doing. And if thats not what your world is saposed to revole around, then then is one messed up world.
Tinyfirestarter out~
ahhhhhh! *poke*
friday oh friday... where has the day gone, oh wait, it went by slow as malaces i can tell you where it went, it went slowwwwwly by, waving at the crowd. *does ms america princess wave* well my day started out with wakeing up, always a good start. um... ate a donut, showered, sat at my comupter for a bit... tryed to wash price tags off some dishes for the shower on sunday and my fingers started to cramp up, so i stoped, sat at my computer some more, cleaned up my room a bit, sat at computer some more, um... put ram in, formated and loaded windows on the Gateway that my mom is selling to my aunt nancy. i got payed in starbucks money for college. um... yar... at lunch, meatball sanwich and pasta.... drew some elephant eggs.... played a bit of diablodecited i didn't want to sit at my computer and do nothing anymore so i layed out side in the hamock and fell asleep.... went out for a nutrinal dinner with my family... Culvers, i got a shake, nothing says dinner like Ice cream, or so my mom tells me. *shrugs* then some night time excitment of watching "while you were out".
oh and some where in the day i raped my cousins shower present and made a card....
well one more day down sorta...14 more to go, also known as 2 weeks till i get to steal my jacen and keep him for the semester MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! steal him good!
um... yeah nothing much else really to talk about, execpt that i hate when people exploite my knowlage of computers. because yeah it sux...
Tinyfirestarter out~
oh also DOOM-IE DOOM-IE DOOM DOOM!!! THANK YOU DYLAN!!!!
August 05, 2004
The big 250!
Meow, well its the big 250 post. gee how time flys... and yeah...
well its thursday, stress of Chem over, and a whole 2 weeks to fill with stuff, to make me not think about how much i miss jacen, and how much i want to go back to school. but two weeks from tommorow i get to pick up my jacen from NIU and wisk him back to orland park, and to the air show with me in the big city. :) and we're going to the zoo too! Chicago, airshow, zoo, squirrles, jacen! can That saturday be any better, not unless there is cake, which ther might be.
um.. lets see today today um.. what did i do today, well i went to the back cracker, at 2 oh we went to aldie before that and got roses, and to Rabenos to get canolies, and to the park district to get somethign signed for my brother. um.. then to another aldies to get more roses and tuna...
um... got home and got roped into doing stuff for my aunt with her computer, because she thinks she need a new one, but she doen'st , like i said before she just needs to stop messing up hers with all her user errors. My mom told her it was a user error and my aunt said she didn't get it, thenmy mom told her its a problem between the chair and the keyboard, and she still didn't get it. *sigh* yeah so... not looking forward to that, i guess my "computer? whats that" stratage doesnt' work.
Also my mom wants me to super impose my uncle Keith over Dave my cousin katies ex-husband because its the last faimly picture with my grandma in it.
um.. went to chris's house, played illuminati, i won because we got sick of it, and people gave me the cards i need to win. *shrugs8 i'll take it when i can get it.
yeah, so is my day in a rather large nut shell....
Tinyfirestarter out~
August 04, 2004
better
I'm feeling much better, sorry i was bitchy in my last entry, even though i shouldn't be, since i'm writing to myself. *shrugs* but if you happen to be reading. I"m sorry, to much stress boiling over the top of the me pot.
yeah well, everthing is sorted out, i guess. in some sorta screwed up disfuntional way. my mom decited that she didn't pay for my books, which she didn't! And thus she can't brang to her friends about how much better she is. I just don't like being degrated is all. I can do that well enoff to my self with out having stuff made up or exaderated.
248
REMINDER: These are my thoughts, you don't have to read them if you don't want to. i'm not tying you down and holding your eyes open.
yar... well yesteday was the first time since janunary that jacen have been apart for once of our month aniverserys... yesterday made 10 months.
today has been a pritty sucky day comparitivly. I had to go wait in line for an hours and a half with my brother so he could pick up his scedual, and then they cam with me to MVCC so i could take my final, Talking and not leting me gather my thoughts the whole way there. I took my final, *sigh* yeah i don't know, but whats new, found out i got a 84% on my last one, not that bad, but not the 92% i always got before. then i went back to sell my books back, and got ass raped again. i got 51$ back. and i payed 158.50$ for the damn things *sigh*.
then stuff just started going not thowrds the good when i got home. my mom and me decited we would setal up our summer acounts with each other. Since i loned her cash and put stuff on my charge for her and she put stuff on her charge for me. Ok no big deal right. NO! she keeps insisted that she payed for my MVCC books when she didn't, and you know thats not what really bothers me, its that she can never trust me, she always has to be right. you know what if she wants the 51$ she thinks is hers, Fine you know what, i don't care, just take it, but don't make me feel like a theef, because its my money. And i jsut know she will go around telling all her friends, oh guess what my daughter did or guess what my daugher says... and she blows everthing out of context and proportion andmake me look like an ASS. you know what if some one did it to her, we would never hear the end of it, ever!
I wish i was back at NIU.
*sigh* why am i made to feel like i'm 12 again.
you know somethinge else, i am never doing anything computer related for anyone in my faimly ever again. NO more computer building, no more fixing, no more anything. my new policy is Computer? whats that?, because sure it was good easy money over the sumer building those 2 computers, but i belive they understand that it was a one time as is deal. I don't want to be 24 hours 365 days a year tech suport for everthing that gose wrong. Expecialy since most of it is user errors.
*sigh* i htink the problem is im sick of humanity, i'm burned out on it. I need human contact, but i can't stand the consiquense that come with it. Right now i just have one human on my mind. And all i want right now is to be with them.
oh and if you remeber from before this journal is for me to look back on in the future. So who ever the ass was who said i'm oging to have to get used to feeling like shit. you know what you can go to hell on a speed boat for all i care, i felt bad for you before. but you know i relized something your just bitter because you don't have anyone. but thats not my problem. Call me a bitch if you want, becaus you know waht thats what i'm feeling like right now.
These are my thoughts, you don't have to read them if you don't want to.
August 03, 2004
Rippp....
yar, so i've riped my first pair of pants by bending over today. *sigh* what an odd feeling. and its not even like they were to small, just very worn and thin... and i don't even think they can be saved by meding because the material is so thin. Stupid little girls pants, you just don't get the quality that you used to. And i dont' get why they call them pairs of pants, because true that it has 2 legs it is only one actual idem. same thing with underwere, ok for women i can sorta see it because there is a Pair of items. but for me its just one. sure the fruit of the looms kind have a small picture that has a pear on it, but i don't htink thats what everyone is refering to, becaue not every one wears fruit of the loom.
yeah so i went over to chris's house yesterday for what i assumed would be a game of illuminati, when i got there chris said tristan IMed him out of the blue and said hes not coming. so we thouight this was wierd so we called and he said he was taking his sister to see the Mancurine canidate.... LIES ALL LIES!!!! and how might me and chris know this you may ask. we decited his story was full of holes and decited to camp out side tristans house and see if he went to the only show left, so at 9:40(time show started) when his car was still in the drive way
we went and got wood chips threw them at his window, and caught him. LIER!! and trhew wood chips at him. damn you lier!!
um... well lets see, woke up with a knot the size texas in my back *sigh* ok well, i'll live... at least i hope its not fatal.
Hm.. need to study for taht final tommorow. at 2:00. Oh yeah i forgot if i worte i took that last test yesterday, and i'm not sure how i did . *Shrugs* yeah. um... i think thats all for now.... but never can tell. oh on last coment, its to damn hot inmyr oom!
Tinyfirestarter out~
August 02, 2004
chicago community bank
monday, last lecture in Chem, and Test #4, i'm honistly not sure how i ddi on this last test. I know i always say i failed it, and most of the time i don't, ok well technically i never do, but yeah i really erally don't know how i did on this one, um... but i figured i only need to get a 50% on the last 2 tests and i still pass with a C. sure i woudn't be happy with a C, and i shoudn't care becaue grades don't transfure, but the sad fact is i do care. *sigh* and i worry. I've gotten into the nervious habit of drawing elephant eggs before tests i filled the back of one of my note books and am half way done on the back of my loose leaf paper packet. for those of you who don't now what elephate eggs look like, which shold be most of you, just know it takes a whole shit load of them to fill the back of a notebook.
yar... Took a nap today because i felt like crap, but when i woke upi ddin't really feall any better. meh, naping was something to do that didn't involve my computer, which was realy pissing me off today, but thats a can of worms i would rather not open right now. well i'm off to chris's house soonish to play illuminati.
Oh for anyone looking for somethign funny to watch, i recomend DA ali G Show. *nods* good stuff.
*waves* Tinyfirestarter out~
August 01, 2004
Creatures of The Night
i'm geting way to good at avoiding this studying thing. To good for my own good. i mean but its so.... for lack of a beter word, boaring. We zoomed by it all so fast, and yeah. Well only one more leture a test and final left. then 3 weeks from today i'm back in my NIU dorm. Where my jacen is just a few mins walk away :).
I picked up some boxes to put stuff in to move, from GFS. also got a belt, i kinda need one since the only real belt i have is an extra small, and god knows i'll never fit in that again, unless i cut off my hips, and i think its easyer just to buy a new belt. *nods* yep much easyer.
um..yar
went back to the taste of orland yesterday, and my guilt about still haveing my oberwise shirt got to me, so iwen to see maryanne and tell her i would bring it buy if she still wanted it. she said no, and said taht she really wants me to come back, and that i'm jsut being silly and making it up in my head that i'm a burned to the store because i can't scoop ice cream. and she said good registar people are hard to fine :). so that made me very happy. so perhaps i'll go work there on breaks or seomthing. or if i can't find a beter/higher paying job somewhere else. I just don't like geting abused bythe cutomers. the mean ones can go to hell. but i do like working when everyone is nice. so its a double edged sword i guess. *shrugs*
oh and i'm happy because tristan said he found D and D dice in one of the cars at Avis, and he said if no one claims them in a week i can have them :). *jumps around* that would be supper! yar..
And as for team speak, i guess its ok, *shrugs* a bit feed backy and such, but at least i know it works. and it is nice to hear jacens voice even if it is rather distored and it sounds like hes eating the mic some times.*shrugs*
Tinyfirestarter out~